'Throw away shame with clothes': What women thought about sex in ancient times
Daisy DunnePost, BBC CultureDecember 28, 2024
In the 7th century BC, the Greek poet Simonides said that there were ten types of women.
Women who preferred eating to cleanliness, fox-like women who were well observed, women who were sexually powerful and had more than one sexual relationship, disobedient women, hurricane-like women, greedy women, lazy women, unattractive women and good-natured women who were hardworking.
Of the anti-misogynistic attitudes prevalent at the time, perhaps the most mysterious are those women who were described as sexually powerful and had more than one relationship.
Historical accounts of the ancient world give us a glimpse into the lives of women. In Greece, women generally wore veils outside the home, while in Rome, women's movements and property were controlled by their fathers or husbands.
So was the idea of a sexually active woman a product of the male imagination? Or were women more interested in sex in ancient times?
If we really want to know what women thought about sex in those times, we have to work hard, as I found out while researching my book The Missing Threads, a history of women in ancient times.
The vast majority of the written accounts from ancient times were written by men who are believed to have exaggerated the sexual habits of women. Some wrote about a woman in a way that made her seem inhuman or spiritual. On the other hand, some women were depicted sexually as if they were meant to be portrayed.
If we were to accept the aphorisms they tell us, we would be led to conclude that either all women in ancient times were chaste or sexually insane. Fortunately, it is possible to peer into the hearts of some women of the classical period, which helps us to understand how women thought about sex.
Confessions of Love
If we talk about the time of Greek poets, we come to Sappho, who wrote poetry on the island of Lesbos in the seventh century BC. Sappho describes the physical sensations she experienced when she saw a woman talking to a man. ‘The beating of the heart, the burning of the veins, the weakness of the eyes, the ringing in the ears, the cold sweat and the trembling’, these are all conditions that are familiar to anyone who has been captivated by someone.
In another poem, Sappho describes how a woman is garlanded with flowers and then, going further, how her ‘thirst’ can be quenched on a soft bed. This is the confession of a woman who understands the feelings of love.
Sappho wrote poetry on the island of Lesbos in the 7th century BC.
But it is not possible to read Sappho’s poems completely correctly. However, researchers have found references to artificial male organs, which were called olesboi in ancient Greece and were used for reproductive rituals as well as sexual gratification. Such objects were also used in Rome and were associated with good luck.
In ancient times, some women were even buried with such objects. Art and archaeological finds from tombs dating back to before Rome’s world-famous era show scenes in which women and men can be seen touching each other’s genitals.
Prostitution in ancient times
Visit any of the ancient brothels in Pompeii and you will see that sex was openly visible. The walls of the small rooms where the trade of bodies took place are covered with inscriptions, mostly written by male customers, describing the performance of women by name.
Historical accounts and speeches also mention such women. In the third century BC, a female poet living in Italy praised a work of art and also said that a sex worker had paid for it. It was a statue of Aphrodite, the goddess of sex and love. This was not an isolated incident, as other women are also mentioned in historical accounts who used the money they earned from prostitution for public purposes.
For these women, it was not the sex itself that mattered, but the rare opportunity to ensure that they would be remembered after their death. Most of them knew that anonymity was their destiny.
The Thoughts of Male Writers
Despite all their prejudices, male writers provide us with interesting information about women and sex. In 411 BC, the comedian Aristophanes staged a play called Lysistrata, in which the women of Athens went on a sex strike to convince their husbands to negotiate peace during a war. This war was a real conflict between Athens and Sparta, called the Peloponnesian War, and it lasted for three decades.
The female characters in this play are not very happy about losing their sexual satisfaction, but there is a moment when the play takes a serious turn and the thoughts of women come to the fore.
The main character of this play, Lysistrata, who organizes the strike, explains what happens to women during war. Not only are they not allowed to join the meeting discussing the war, but the long war proves to be a disaster for married women. This war is even worse for unmarried women because they don't get the chance to get married.
The main character points out that men can remarry even though they have gray hair after returning from war, but virgin women become old and are considered unmarried.
This text presents the contrasts in the experiences of war for men and women so accurately that it is tempting to admit that it is an expression of the real feelings of women of that time.
Greek writings also express women's concerns related to sex. In a lost play by Sophocles, who became famous for writing 'Oedipus Rex', the female character describes what the experience of marriage is like for a virgin woman.
In that era, marriage was arranged among the wealthy classes and for any woman, the first experience of sex was not very good.
Sex tips in ancient times
To some extent, women of that time expressed their thoughts in writing. In a letter attributed to Theano, a Greek philosopher who is also said to have been the wife of Pythagoras, she advises her friend Eurydice that ‘a woman should throw off her modesty along with her clothes when she enters her husband’s bed. When she is up again, she can put them both back on.’
Theano’s letter is probably not authentic. However, the text in this letter covers similar topics that women talk to each other in modern times.
The Greek poet Elephantus was reportedly so interested in giving women advice about sex that she wrote books on the subject.
Sadly, none of her books survive, but she is mentioned by the Roman poet Martial and the Roman writer Setonius, who claim to have kept books by the Roman emperor Tiberius Elephantus, who was known for his sexual appetite.
When other male writers refer to other women, they express love rather than sex. Catiline's mistress, Lisbia, tells him that "what a woman says to her lover should be written on the wind and in the flowing water."
Related topics:
#History #Society #Europe #Gender #Women #Culture #Women's Rights #Archaeology #Literature #Art #Sex
No comments: